Us Wanting God / God Wanting Us

The act of creation is mutual between God/Universe and the individual human. We are needed just as much as we need. The wanting is two-way, in other words, God/Universe wants us just as much as we want for God, for Universe. There is responsibility in this. Creation is not just for us to accept the fruits of. This is an ego-centric posture and pleases our small-self ego. We are much greater than this and only one who digs deep discovers this greatness. 

Dawn of a New Day

Enlightenment can be literally waking up from nightmares. 

Radical

Want to be radically free? Is it possible? Your Beliefs are a closed system - in that 'you' - whoever you determine as 'yourself' - firmly adhere to your set of Beliefs. Ask yourself - WHO IS IT that is believing what I believe? Where did these beliefs come from? Do I want to believe as I do? Try this on beliefs you have about yourself that you don't like, that feel like they are detrimental to you, that hold you back from moving into new territory.  Now... what if you knew it was possible to become free - no rigidity inside at all.  It IS possible but takes lifelong (and more, if you can muster) commitment. Most people will never discover this transformation that is possible for us. Why some of us can learn this, but is still very rare for the vast majority, is something I'm still making sense of. And if you are saying to yourself, aww that's bunk, WHO is believing that? 

The Opening

It is of no use to do (as your point of focus) everything for your fellow man.  Instead, you must do it for god/universe - to open up the place where you cease to be, which is the place of freedom and of most use for a greater worth than manmade things.  

Timeless

Today I feel old as the hills - meaning timeless. It's a beautiful feeling. 

More than You

Don't despair - god/universe gave you it all.  

Who are You?

Whatever you can see in your mind's eye about a past 'you' or past memory of you and the associated feelings that accompany it, there is no truth that this is indeed you - meaning - there is a you behind the 'you' that you are seeing. (Think of the nature of seeing and what this means.) You are far more encompassing than the identity you have as you, and all the little identities and minutiae that go along with it, they are just details, neither here nor there. Like leaves on the tree and bark and all these little bits that aren't aware there is a whole big tree and an even bigger world.


You are the world and beyond. It is your mind that separates and segregates. There is nothing out there in the universe that contains these divisive lines. It is we who create them, they do not exist in nature.  

The Seerer

When I say, 'put your attention on it,' I am talking to you as the one who is doing the 'seeing' as in, you are the 'seerer.'  Ask yourself - who is doing the seeing?  This seerer is separate from that which is being seen. And so, if you follow along with the logic, you can discern that what it is you are putting your attention on is NOT you.  

The Challenge - Are You Up for It?

So you think, but my mind won't let go.... imagine if you found a way to accomplish that... would you do it  if it meant you had to give up everything that you were, everything that you were holding on to..... 

Give

Here too, just as in life, it is best to be giving, not taking.

Being Sorry

This is part of my process. I am sometimes compelled to voice that I'm sorry - to god/to universe upon the occurrence of a bit of enlightenment. With the recognition, in a flash, it points out to you how small and selfish staying identified with a bit of ego was, and the choice to be that, to do that, was yours, and there was no one responsible other than you for this bit of constriction that you now have let go of.  

Beliefs aren't Truth

There is no truth to your beliefs about yourself. They're just a past record. 

Going There

I'll give you one about me. I have felt thwarted in going forward in what I want to do in life.  The specifics are unimportant because it was a blanket denial with a full iron-clad effect on me. So as an adult, I've struggled with this invisible blanket, or to use a different visual, it's like punching from inside a paper bag that won't rip. A completely closed universe. 


Well, once long ago, evidently something happened to me or was done to me, but in present day, with no one with me in my meditation room, or next to me while I walk on the street, no one is dong anything to me. Yet, the feeling I describe is all-encompassing. Therefore, what I've learned is this.  Whoever that person was (perhaps a parent), whoever they are, it stops at your skin. They do not have the ability to permeate your physical layers. So, what I've done is, I've taken that (whatever that is), and me, myself alone, have gone from my outer-most layer, my skin, I've permeated the rest. I'm the one who's done it. I've gone inwards with it. Used it against me. Everyone else stops at the level of my skin. What happens to me at that point, I, somehow, am doing to myself. I've learned it. and now, alone in my room, no one needs to be doing 'it' to me in order for me to feel the pain, the effect, the hurt, whatever the feeling is. 


So, in meditation, seeing it, putting one's attention on it, and doing the work in letting go of this false identification of the ego - it isn't YOU,  (I haven't yet gone into what the process entails), you are able to eliminate it from your being entirely, so long as you are willing to let that ego identification die. You must however, kiss a part of yourself goodbye, no matter how sorry and sad sack it is, it still seems to be you and so you want to hold on to it. But when you take the leap into pure emptiness, something new and more amazing than you could imagine takes its place... and more.  

Physical Sensation

Letting go as in, when one is meditating and it causes a satori, one will have a physical "experience" or sensation - a physical component to the enlightenment which accompanies the meditation.  This is a short intense glimpse into enlightenment and is seated in the center forehead, above the eyes. Until one has exhausted all ego searches for self-attainment and has completely let go, one will not have this occurrence.  

Grow

Do you think of yourself as 'lesser?' The path encourages and challenges you to become bigger.  

Expansiveness / Awareness

One is not given answers in the literal sense, however, one becomes MORE - falls into a greater expanse - and therefore more is a part of you. So... answers are just teeny-tiny parts of an equation of GREATER awareness. Sometimes the feeling arises - how daunting it all is, and one questions, how can god/universe rely on mere humans with our silly self-centered, tiny universes of selves, to make a difference in consciousness at all.  

The Starting Point

In this mediation, if there is something inside we don't like or want to be rid of, and we are lost as to what to do about it, the first rule always, is to put one's attention on it. Simply and plainly, putting our attention, or focusing on the inward state that is rising up in us, this is the starting point. This is how the process begins. 

Time for Laughter

Sometimes letting go is even comical.  

Don't Be an Outdated Relic

The ego is always an outdated, frozen relic of a past world created from our past experiences. The world has since moved on from when a person's ego was forming its imprinted experiences and sensibilities that formed from those experiences. So, to stick with the ego means we are running old tapes and outdated material and imposing that on an ever-changing and evolving world.  That would be something like driving an old Ford and expecting the world to view it as a 2010 hybrid vehicle. 

Bigger Love

Meditation is Love. Letting go is Love. Sometimes, we discover that what we love (or have been loving) isn't big enough. And we learn  when we let go, that we now love 'bigger.'

The False Path

Relying on the ego to steer your path is a false path because its only mission is to forward itself and its own rewards, not towards ultimate freedom.  

Keep in Your Heart

'Why' has no place in letting go.  'Why' is the mind talking.  Letting go takes place in the heart.  You are on the path when you are in the realm of the heart and what emanates from it, love is in the heart. To focus on 'why' keeps you locked in to the position your ego has adopted / owned. Therefore, to seek an answer to the 'why' is a false direction given to you by your ego, because the ego wants to keep you locked in so that it is not forced to change.  

YOU Defined

Have the courage to give up what seems to be a part of 'who' you are.  Just because it was part of you once, doesn't mean it must define you in the future. Remember, it is NOT you, no matter how much belief you have that it IS you. We simply are not that permanent.  We are free at any moment to be more than that, but only when we have the courage to let our ego dissolve. 

Time to Waste?

It strikes me as amazing, the patience shown by 'god' (whoever, whatever represents our god in our psyche), waiting for us to reach enlightenment. It causes one to wonder, why such patience, especially given our world, which contains so much suffering.  In other words, it feels like there is so much to do, to rectify all the wrongs in this world. There is no time to waste. Yet, humans can waste and fritter all the time away, it is truly up to THEM.  

Our Own Creation

Our creativity is total.  It is reflected, for example, in the creation of our own prisons of the mind. Observe how this creation is a total universe, in its parameters, and how its creation can only be the product of our own workings in the mind.  

Fullness

We cannot get there with only ourselves. Going along the path means receiving its gifts as much as anything. One experiences the true nature of one-ness with everything and in doing so the illusion of alone-ness is destroyed.  Sometimes we are unaware that our solo pursuits are the very things that propel our alone-ness and the path joyously shatters us into one-ness. It fills us in the fullness of not being alone.  

Recognizing The Path

The Path..... You fear it and desire to hurl yourself into it at the same time.  

The Way

Once you are on the path there is one word for it.....  Inevitable.  Known in Christian circles as 'The Way.'

Circumvent Rationality

Rational thought is the domain of the ego, while the path is borne out of love. On the path, one overcomes rational thought and circumvents and renders it irrelevant.  You will do well to remember that rational thought will keep you stuck.  Therefore, if you want to move along the path, you must always tease yourself away from rationality to allow the gap and a new wholeness to come.  

'Will' will not work

One practices the path with Intent and Trust.  'Will' in the general definition as it is known,  will not work. Your Will keeps you "holding" and you will recognize that it is exactly Will that is relinquished along the path.

Joy

Joy can feel as thought it is lifting ages off your life and who knows, perhaps it is.  

Relinquishing Will

While our Will feels like everything to us, as it is relinquished on the path, we feel joyous.  

Tough Day?

God/Goddess/Universe does not want us to have a hard time.  

Holding On

In meditation, we are given a gift when we shed an identification. We learn it's o.k., we don't have to hold on to it anymore.  And if it is something that we've been holding on to for as long as we can remember, with reasons 'why' long forgotten, we feel we have shed an albatross.  

Where Does Cruelty Come From?

God and/or Universe is not cruel. It is we who deny ourselves.  

Being Made Whole

Without fail, on the path, one is made whole (healed) to a previously unrealized state which is revealed in meditation, upon giving up a belief, which is by definition, partial in nature.  It is Plotinus who said, 'give up everything.'  I always remind myself, in the face of doubt, of the edict to give up everything.  

Is That Really You?

Often our ego is made up of our parents' fears, which have no basis in reality or fact even though they feel as such.  Letting go of them (these secret fears) through meditation reminds us that all beliefs no matter where learned can be found to be unsupported through the act of letting go.  

Start by Asking

Healing in meditation is often a question of asking, when one is feeling a state of deprivation stemming from early on in life. In that scenario, you had learned to stop asking and that deprivation which resulted  remains in you.  So, you've become accustomed to it and feel somehow is was not meant to be filled.  You will surprise yourself, however, if you put yourself in a position of vulnerability again, by asking, simply and fully, which can lead to the unpacking of this feeling of deprivation, no matter if it began from an early childhood learned response, or a lesson learned that can finally now be discarded completely.  


I have never had a 'no' come from the inside. It seems the inside has no 'no.' There is only living and living is innately a 'yes.'  

What is the Question

The questioning principle in meditation is to ask "who am I?"  Not as a rhetorical question, but to really ask.  You will discover "I am not that."  

The Majestic Tree

I'm a big fan and admirer of the tree.  Tall and majestic, exposed to the elements, unflinching. And exposed in all its parts for the world to see as it stands tall and true, full of life, fluttering leaves, waving branches and limbs in the breeze, in a caress with the wind.  

Nothing is Wrong

The ego can cause one to think "there's something wrong with me," when it is attached to a belief it holds.  When you let go of the belief, that is when you may have a realization, a real feeling, that there is nothing wrong with you. Great relief and peace floods in as well.  

Beliefs

Sometimes coming out of meditation, when we return to the rational, everyday mind we see that beliefs are often made out of whole cloth, with no substance whatsoever and they can be dismissed as having no actual basis in fact or reality. Beliefs about ourselves - ones that seem "innate" to us, to our make up, are most often those we've adopted in childhood from very early on, earlier than we can even remember, so we do not have an idea as to the nature of their adoption - did we choose it... if so... how, and how do we "unadopt" it.  

What Is The Path?

What it is... 
it is all waiting for you.... it is a practice of uncovering as much as anything. It is not to be found in any person or any thing. It is as deep as the ocean and all comforting in that envelopment.  

Gratitude

Gratitude is everything. By thanking your god, no matter what form 'god' takes in your psyche, you will remain grateful to what is larger than yourself.  God figures in the consciousness of everyone, the form of  your god may differ from that of your neighbor's.  

Recognize Doubt

Doubt occurs as an inherent default position and must be recognized for what it is (or isn't), or else it will be used by your mind (unwittingly) as a stumbling block. 

Awareness Comes with Giving Up

After discarding an ego layer, the brain forms a realization, or a thought about what is given up. Rational thoughts arising are of little use during meditation itself.  

Trust is All

Trust is the single most powerful thing to access and move into in meditation.

Holding On

We are holding on to our ego because we are trying to project ourselves (the ego self) into the future to remain alive.  

Taking Responsibility

Take responsibility for the origin of all your thoughts, most importantly in the situation where you perceive they have the power over you. 

Innate Creativity

Innate creativity comes from the life force that propels us forward to live and thrive. The ego can be the biggest barrier of access to it. Strip the ego and find creativity within that is part of our pure make up. 

A Place of Rest

The mind's at a place of "rest".... one does not have the roadblocks of "me" in meditation.  All is at peace.